


Drowning, Free-Falling, Bleeding Out

by fangirlscribbles



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 07:55:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3242108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlscribbles/pseuds/fangirlscribbles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A little drabble about Ian and Mickey's relationship. Slightly angsty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drowning, Free-Falling, Bleeding Out

For Ian, Mickey had always been an enigma. A vortex, a tornado – dangerous, more or less a guarantee Ian would get hurt, but impossible to resist getting sucked into if he got too close.  
  
And Ian always got too close.  
  
No matter how many times he got hurt, no matter how many times he thought _this is it, now it can't hurt anymore_ and it did - no matter what, Ian always returned to Mickey. It was a twisted kind of love, he supposed, ripping his heart to pieces and keeping him coming back for more.  
  
He told himself over and over that the little things made it worth it – their first kiss, short and unexpected but sweet; waking up next to Mickey after a night of the Milkovich house being empty; thinking he could see _That Look_ in Mickey's eyes from time to time, even if it was fleeting.  
  
He couldn’t help but wonder if Mickey thought it was worth it too; if he sometimes felt like he was drowning, desperately fighting against the waves for air; if he actually looked at Ian _like that_.  
  
After Terry happened – after Ian was forced to watch Mickey being beaten nearly to death, after he was forced to watch Mickey getting raped – he told himself he’d never get too close again.  
  
He’d had enough of drowning and this time when he got up he wouldn’t be satisfied with just a quick gulp of air. This time he’d stay above the surface, and he’d make it all the way to shore where he would be safe from the stormy sea. He would make it to the shore and he’d stay there, his back to the waves. He would, he would, _he would_.  
  
Except this sea had a mind of its own.  
  
He had been so sure he’d finally made it to the shore, that he was finally safe, when a wave washed over him and dragged him back under. This time it seemed different – not enough for him to breathe, but enough for him to tell himself that maybe he could, someday. It was intense, but differently.  
  
Of course, he was wrong. He managed to stay afloat for a while with some renewed energy, but it wasn’t long before he was pulled under again. He was too close, too close, _too close_. He didn’t look into Mickey’s eyes anymore, terrified of the feeling it gave him, like he was free falling.  
  
It wasn’t a bad feeling, but that was why he was scared.  
  
Being with Mickey made him feel like he was drowning, free-falling, bleeding out. But it also made him feel like he was flying, walking on clouds, could do anything he ever wanted. It terrified him, but he knew he’d never be able to resist.  
  
Mickey was an enigma, a vortex, a maelstrom – and Ian would never be able to resist getting too close. Realizing that his resistance to Mickey was utterly non-existent turned out to be Ian’s self-destruction. Realizing that there was no way he’d ever be able to stay away was all he needed to be able to look into Mickey’s eyes again.  
  
And  
                             he  
                                                          fell.

**Author's Note:**

> Come talk to me or give me prompts at [tumblr](http://mickeymousevich.tumblr.com/) ^-^


End file.
